Revert
by Fair Haven Heights
Summary: Squall has changed back to his lone wolf self after Rinoa's death. An old face in his new life may be the one to help him open up again... [SeiferSquall, yaoi, romance, encouragement or criticism are both good things. Please review. :D] Some violence.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from _Final Fantasy VIII_ and I don't wish to. Where would I keep them; a cage in my basement?

* * *

_Revert_

by Fair Haven Heights

Water lapped playfully against the sea-soaked metal of the Balamb docks. Squall hung his legs over the side of the pier, looking down into the shiny water. It moved endlessly back and forth, just like the conflict in his mind. Back and forth, like a pendulum. He had completely shut down.

Poor sensitive, kind, smart, gorgeous Rinoa. There were so many words to describe the woman that was the joy of his heart. To Squall, right there on the Balamb docks, those words were all that remained. Rinoa Heartilly, age 19, died in a car accident in Deling City. The funeral was a large event, stuffing Timber to its limits with sadness and grief. Squall stood over her casket. She had told him he had opened up. She had told him he was beginning to show signs of love. She had made him open up.

He didn't shed a single tear for her. Two years after the defeat of Ultimecia, he had grown so much but it all snapped back, like an overstretched rubber band, and reverted. He was sad, no doubt, but it wasn't the kind of sadness that tore at his heart. It was a dull drone in his ears sadness, a reminder that he was still human, that _she _was human, and that mortality was a reality everyone had to face.

She was buried next to her mother, who died of the same cause. Ironic, thought Squall, but he wasn't in a joke making mood. Squall had watched Rinoa being lain into the ground. He looked up from the angelic corpse, gazing around at his friends. Selphie, the most emotional, fell to her knees, to be comforted by a silent Irvine. Quistis and Xu stood stoically, next to a strong Ma Dincht. Squall glanced around as General Caraway walked away from the group, but something else caught his eye.

_Seifer_. Dressed in a formal suit, Squall hadn't immediately recognized him. His hair was combed decently for once, giving him a bit of a somber look, despite the sharp eyebrows.

That was the last time Squall had seen Seifer. And that was three years ago. A total of five years from Ultimecia's demise. As the new commander of the renovated Balamb Garden, Squall felt that time had passed quickly. Balamb was like a new home to him; he hadn't left the island much and the sun and calming waves kept his most inner thoughts of the tragedy at bay. He stood up from his session of contemplation and began to walk back inland, toward the town. His solitary march back to Garden was uninterrupted and uneventful. As he approached the gate, Xu walked down the main steps to greet him.

"Squall! Squall! I've been looking all over for you! Where've you been?" she cried.

Squall didn't answer. Did it matter where he _was _as long as he was here now?

"I just wanted to remind you. Quistis is taking off for vacation for the next two weeks. The long term substitute is coming in tonight on the late train."

Squall was unimpressed. "...And?"

"Well," Xu stammered, either holding back laughter or trying not to anger Squall, "just before Quistis left, I got a notice from the sub. Guess who it is?"

Squall stayed silent as Xu handed him an email printout. The words **Seifer Almasy **were printed in deep black on the sender line.

"Hyne, how long has it been? Three years? Wow, I never thought he'd be a SeeD let alone a--"

Squall wasn't interested in the rest of her story. He had stormed past her, briskly walking, almost running. He made it to his third floor private office easily.

Questions and demands ran through his head. Did Quistis request Seifer? How did Seifer end up becoming an instructor? He couldn't really answer anything. It had been five years since they had had any major contact; they didn't really have much new to fight about. But with Rinoa gone, the last thread that held them in common was cut. They were moving on with their lives. "Why do you have to come back to haunt me, Seifer? Why now?"


	2. Chapter 2

The sky over Timber was a brilliant blue as Quistis stepped off of the train platform from Balamb. The smell of the fuel-burning engines was abundant. All around her Timber was bustling with passengers, shoppers, residents, and travelers. Timber had definitely grown since the last time she saw it so many years ago.

Her white fall blouse fluttered in the air a bit as she walked down the steps to traverse the streets. While Timber was not her final destination, she had time to spare before her next travel. Besides, she had someone to meet. Carefully taking note of her surroundings, she found a bench in front of the Timber Maniacs building. Quistis had most definitely grown since she had last been with Squall and the gang. While she still was formidable and powerful in the world as a not only a Garden instructor but a fighter, she was stunningly beautiful as well. Her strawberry blonde hair captured the light in just the way that made men and women take a second look, even when she was innocently sitting on a park bench.

The sun in her eyes was blocked when a man approached her.

"Didn't think I'd actually see you," said the man.

Quistis half-pouted, half-smiled. "I may have my qualms about you, Seifer, but that doesn't make me go back on my word." Although Quistis wasn't a huge fan of Seifer, she had to admit that a lot had changed since they were seventeen. They grew up. After Rinoa's funeral, they all felt like they shared a deeper connection. Rinoa had left a greater imprint on all of them than they had realized.

Seifer came up close and gave Quistis a glance up and down, which made her scowl. "Do you have to look at me like that?"

Seifer laughed. "Well, do you have to _dress _like that?" She only looked even more angry, sharpening her gaze.

Quistis continued as if he hadn't said anything. "I'm wholly surprised they let you back into Garden. Galbadia, of all places! I'm even more surprised that you've had the patience to become an instructor." She paused. "I guess a lot has changed since..." She trailed off a bit, as neither of them really knew how to discuss Rinoa's death aloud.

Seifer was quick to change the topic. "What's the real reason you called me out here?"

Quistis sighed. "It's Squall," she said, which made Seifer roll his eyes. "No, I'm serious, Seifer!" Quistis continued. "He's threatened to give up his position as commander. He's all hurting. We need the old Squall back."

Seifer roared. "Who's we?! And what am I supposed to do?! Every time we meet, we fight, Quistis!"

Quistis did her best to remain calm, "'We' meaning all of us at Garden. Selphie and Irvine in Trabia. Even Zell, who we never see anymore. We all love him, Seifer. Maybe you do too."

Seifer scowled. He wondered why he didn't just leave her there on the spot, but after coming so many miles to get himself here, he realized there was no point in leaving.

Quistis continued, "Besides, Seifer, I've been planning this vacation for months. I'm going to visit my cousin Giorri in Dollet. Someone has to take my classes." She reached into her purse to pull out her second train ticket. "And if I don't hurry, I'm going to miss my train. Take care!" Quistis was gone before Seifer could reply.

He was out of options now; he had no choice. Not only was Quistis depending on him, but so was Xu. So were a bunch of prepubescent SeeD candidates. In a way, Rinoa was too. If it had been Rinoa asking this favor, would he have been so reluctant to do it?

He brushed the thought away from his mind; it was painful to even think about. Rinoa had loved Squall. He wasn't doing this for Squall; he was going to do it for her. Silently but with some determination, he walked back toward the platform that led him to Balamb.

----

Squall walked back to Balamb, alone. It was twilight and the air stung with quietness. The town was fairly quiet with the occasional car driving past and the nighttime romances happening in the gorgeous hotel.

Xu had sent him here to meet none other than Seifer. She sent him alone, Hyne knows why, to pick him up and escort him back to Garden. Despite the fact that Squall was the commander of Garden, Xu had a strange leadership power over Squall, something he couldn't shake off from his pre-SeeD years. He didn't even bother questioning why he needed to escort someone who had been to Balamb many, many times.

Squall approached Balamb Station Yard and waited near the tracks for the incoming sound of a train from the tunnel. A few minutes more. Squall thought hard about Quistis' choice in substitute. He knew her well enough to know she was up to something. He didn't really understand what it was, but with a little work, he decided that he wouldn't fall for it.

The train rolled in just as the city lights came on and the sun had finally set over the western shore. The few night stragglers wandered out into the city. One of the last passengers off was the man Squall sought. He seemed much darker to Squall than he did at Rinoa's funeral, despite the gloom of the event. Seifer's hair was combed neatly, his new clothes were so much different than the beige trench coat he so frequently wore in his previous days in Balamb. Maybe a lot has changed, Squall thought. Too much.

"Well, Squall, we meet again." He extended a hand toward Squall, more of a formality than a sign of friendship. Squall looked at the hand, then up at Seifer, and said nothing.

Seifer expected that. "I take it Xu sent you out here to get me?" Squall nodded and Seifer laughed. "Let's go then."

The walk out of town felt a lot different to Squall than the first walk did. With the sun down, everything seemed longer and farther away. He walked next to Seifer, silently, but stole a few glances at him now and then. Seifer had definitely changed. His face had sharpened into a more adult face. His jaw was a gentle curve that followed almost too perfectly near his cheekbones. And the scar running across his face shone out more than ever. Was this the same Seifer he had fought five years ago?

Xu greeted them in the main hall by the elevator.

"Welcome, Seifer!" cried Xu. She actually sounded kind of happy to see him. "Or am I to call you 'Instructor Almasy'?"

"You can call me whatever you like, Xu." said Seifer in his nonchalant way. Squall scowled. Yep, same Seifer.

Xu snapped out of her happiness, if any, right then. "Well, Squall, I've been discussing with Nida where Seifer will be staying during his time here. We seemed to think it'd be...inappropriate for an instructor to be staying in the student dorms. The hotel's all booked up for the summer and we couldn't possibly ask the Dincht's for Zell's 'sacred room'."

Squall was unimpressed. "Let me guess, you want me to share my quarters?"

Xu gave a hopeful smile. "If it wouldn't bother you too much..."

Squall was silent. Quistis was so going to get it for this.

Xu said, "Great, then it's settled. Seifer, have you eaten? No? Well, we're having a staff dinner upstairs, why don't you join us?"

----

Squall sat at the head of the table. The room was alive with the typical buzz of conversation; instructors talking about classes, faculty discussing lives and politics. It was a familiar setting but with a twist: Seifer was by his side. Seifer wasn't took keen on speaking with anyone else. It had been ages since he had ever even seen some of these people.

Squall actually decided to break the silence. "I don't know what Quistis and Xu are thinking but...I know you're not just here to teach classes."

Seifer swallowed a bit of food and then spoke, "I've spent the last three years proving to everyone I wasn't trying to sabotage everything. And I don't need it from you." He was cold.

Squall was shocked. Rinoa's death had affected everyone. He muttered a quick "Sorry." to Seifer and finished his meal in silence.

As the instructors all headed off to their own quarters, Squall and Seifer were left alone in the third floor halls. Squall led the way to the room at the end of the hall. It was no bigger than any of the other staff member's quarters, and Squall made sure of that. He wasn't better than anyone else just because his name had a 'Cmdr.' in front of it.

Seifer chuckled as he entered Squall's living space. Maybe Squall had shut down, but his taste in décor was a constant reminder of his black and white world. There were shelves of books off in a corner, a lone desk, a bed, and a single window. He watched Squall pull out a second mattress from the couch near the bookshelves. He suddenly felt this pang of pity for Squall. Squall lost the woman he loved. And somehow, in the mix of things, Squall got lost, or was consumed by the old Squall. It was so...sad...to Seifer, he just wanted to sob right there. He wanted everything to be right again. He wanted Rinoa, he wanted Squall. Just like Quistis said, he really did want Squall back. The world wasn't the same without him. No one was.

"Where are you, Squall?" cried Seifer.

"I'm right here," Squall said that with a tone of annoyance.

No, really, where are you, Squall? Seifer sighed and lay down on the pull-out bed. As Squall put out the lights, Seifer lost himself in a dreamworld, going back to the past where everything could be alright again.


	3. Chapter 3

"Can anyone here tell me what 'Junctioning' means?" Seifer stared out at the beginner's level class. Quistis' brave and young students watched with scared expressions on their faces. Out of fear of making a mistake, not one student raised his or her hand.

Seifer sighed, "Well. it's like this..." He turned around to draw a diagram of the process, but also to avoid those horrible glares from the class. He supposed that having them quiet was better than having them not pay attention.

The diagram he drew was a flowchart. Battle, Draw, Junction. Simple yet so complex. There were possibly hundreds of combinations as well as hundreds of types of para-magic to draw. That's how Seifer felt about his career at that point. It was all so simple: join Garden, learn to teach, teach the students. Yet so complex. Did other instructors have to names the 'Ex-Sorceress Knight'? Did other instructors strike fear into the hearts of others? Seifer didn't care, at least in the beginning. But now, it was people he'd never met. _Kids_, even. He blocked it from his mind and continued the lesson.

----

Xu shuffled papers in her office. In the late summer, early fall that was dawning, new student applications were piling up everywhere. She had only reviewed about a third of them when the phone rang. She answered calmly, still scanning lines of an essay.

"Balamb Garden Office of Admissions. This is Xu. How can I help you?"

"Xu, it's Quistis. I'm calling to ask how Seifer's doing." said someone from across an ocean.

"You mean with your classes or with your...other agenda?" asked Xu.

"Both," Quistis giggled, "I just can't believe it actually went through. I was sure Seifer would back out on me in Timber."

Xu smiled, "Well, you've always been a resourceful person, Quisty. Still, Squall has really just been as apathetic as before since Seifer arrived."

"Give it time, Xu. Besides, I've got some ideas for you..." Quistis began describing something to Xu. Xu wrote down the name she needed.

"Got it!" said Xu, "Have a good vacation. We'll see you in two weeks."

----

Balamb Garden was abuzz with activity as summer classes began to finish for the season. Those who didn't have finals strolled through the halls and open areas, enjoying the warm sun and smiles of friends. Xu greeted a few students on the way to the front gate, just outside of reception. She was a bit nervous but nonetheless waited patiently for the rest of the party to arrive.

----

Squall squinted in the sunlight as he approached Xu. She hadn't told him why she was meeting with him, only that there would be other people there. He scowled when he saw _him _standing next to her. Seifer.

Xu motioned Squall over and he began running to meet them. "First of all, I want you both to meet Mishal." Xu gestured to a boy, maybe fifteen or sixteen, who Squall hadn't seen hiding behind Xu. "Mishal's in one of your classes, Instructor Almasy. He's...been having some trouble with our field exam in the Fire Cavern."

Squall wasn't surprised at this; the boy looked positively weak. Junctioning the boy might be enough to knock him out. He wasn't cut out to be a SeeD.

"Instructor Trepe has taken the test with him several times, but...no luck. So we're extending him a...handicap of sorts?" Xu smiled and adjusted her uniform, leaving the implied to be unsaid.

"Let me get this straight," said Seifer. "We'll _both _be helping on this exam?" He glanced over at Squall, who was unaffected.

"Commander Leonheart, is that okay with you?" Xu suddenly using professional terms caught Squall off guard. "It's already in the database, you're all set to--"

"Whatever," said Squall, defeated. He began to question who really ran Garden. "Whatever helps him to pass," he said, though nobody was convinced that he truly meant that.

----

Seifer wasn't exactly a stickler for the rules, but he couldn't imagine Mishal _ever _passing the field exam. Even on the walk over to the cavern, he was clumsy in his steps. Seifer asked him if he was junctioned but Mishal replied that he didn't know much about it. Squall overheard and scowled. Ifrit was going to roast their asses.

Mishal prepared himself for battle at the entrance to the cavern. Squall felt the wave of heat wash over him as he entered the cave. Seifer felt it too and began to peel off his instructor's uniform. Squall couldn't help but notice how Seifer had changed...physically. Squall had thought that back when they'd train together, Seifer was almost perfectly fit. But evidently, as an older man, Seifer had clearly improved. His muscles were clearly defined from the years of gunblade training. The nape of his neck was smooth and curved around into a defined clavicle. Without a shirt, Seifer seemed more majestic than ever, taller and stronger. A pang of jealousy swept over Squall. Jealousy and something else, a small desire? Both were overcome by disgust as Squall realized what he was doing.

Squall watched as the group ventured further. He listened to Seifer giving instructions on how to use Blizzard. Mishal smiled as his icy power obliterated a nearby enemy. Squall thought that maybe Quistis and Xu were right; Seifer _had _changed.

"This is it," said Seifer, stepping up to the end of the trail, where Ifrit's lair was. "Are you ready, Mishal?"

"Of course," replied Mishal.

A rumbling sound echoed through the cavern. Squall drew his gunblade out and watched Seifer do the same, his sweat-slicked shoulders glistening in the soft glow of the ashes. The demon Ifrit suddenly tore out from his underground lair, splattering molten rock in all directions. Towering over them, Ifrit, hurled a fireball straight at the group.

Seifer was first to react, covering Mishal and taking the damage.

"Mishal, you have to be on guard! Act fast!"

The poor student was scared; Squall could tell he was panicking. Mishal shakily moved to spell casting stance and acted. A thunderbolt shot from above, striking Ifrit, but inflicting little damage.

"Ice against fire, Mishal!" yelled Seifer, leaping toward the demon with his gunblade.

Squall watched in awe as Seifer flew through the air. His body twisted and curved to draw back his gunblade and with a loud, deep grunt, gutted the demon with two crossed slashes. Squall was so absorbed in watching his former rival fight, he didn't realize where he was standing. He was dangerously close to the edge of the pathway, leaning over glowing hot lava. He looked down and felt the heat sear his face as he fell face first into the fiery sea.

He thought he could hear Seifer yelling his name. Screaming it. But the roar of his burning skin drowned out everything. And Seifer wouldn't care about him, would he?


	4. Chapter 4

Seifer leaned against the wall in the infamous secret area of the training center. He had donned his old gray trench coat, partially to bring back memories but also to keep people away. When he looked and dressed like he did five years ago, people kept their distance.

He didn't know what was coming over him. It was a mix of many feelings: guilt was one of them. It was the same guilt he felt when Rinoa died. He could have done something. So many things he could have done and Rinoa would still be alive. And Squall had been lying in the Infirmary for several days unconscious while Dr. Kadowaki returned him to his normal state. All the while, Seifer felt endless guilt, endless...something.

Xu had come to him the day after the exam with the blank report for Mishal. He tried to remember what happened that day. Squall fell. Seifer and Mishal tried to pull Squall out, but Ifrit still wanted to fight. Mishal quickly started casting magic and Seifer gathered up the charred Squall and just ran. He didn't even remember getting out. Mishal had escaped, just narrowly. He didn't technically pass the exam, but Seifer signed the report anyway. He didn't want to repeat that scenario.

It was silly, it really was. Seifer was used to battle. People died, people got hurt. But this wasn't just anyone. This was _Squall_. The Squall he grew up with, the Squall he trained and fought with.

He blamed Rinoa. Three years ago, she had screwed everything up. Everyone's emotions got jumbled up together into a big mess and the line between his hatred for Squall and his childhood memories blurred.

_----_

"_What are you doing here?" said Squall. Seifer was standing over Rinoa's grave._

"_She loved you a lot. Did you know that?" Seifer was quiet as he spoke. An odd calmness swept over both of them._

"_Of course." It wasn't spiteful. Just a statement, matter-of-fact._

_Of course. _Of course.

"Of course he'll be alright." Dr. Kadowaki's voice intensified from mumbling into clarity. "I may be old, but a few burns won't stop me!"

Burns, thought Squall. He looked at his body. His skin seemed a little charred, but far better than the scorching heat and pain he remembered.

"Squall, you're awake," exclaimed Dr. Kadowaki, hanging up the phone. "It's been a few days since you've been unconscious but I cleared up most of the damage." She chuckled. Her hair was almost entirely gray now: a fact that she did nothing to hide. To her, aging was a medical phenomenon, not a sign of growing old. And as one of Balamb Garden's senior faculty members, she was far from powerless in her old age.

"You're prepared for anything, aren't you?" she said, checking his skin for any signs of the burning. "You junction Shiva and then you go ahead and jump in a pool of lava." She grumbled something about elemental defense.

"I...didn't jump, Doctor," Squall sat up, but it hurt a little.

"Oh really, what _were _you doing?"

"I...I...I don't know what...I was doing," Squall knew what he was doing; he just didn't understand it. It was like Seifer fighting had put him in some sort of a trance.

"Well, whatever it was that you don't know that you were doing, you of all people should know to be careful." Dr. Kadowaki didn't try to be blunt about his current state. "You won't always have an Ice Queen so conveniently save you. Or Seifer for that matter."

_Seifer._ Squall had forgotten about him. "Am I free to go, Doctor?"

Dr. Kadowaki sighed. "You are, once you promise me you won't go skinny dipping in lava anymore?"

Squall nodded, not really appreciating the joke. He regained his balance, got himself dressed, and began walking from the Infirmary to the main hall. Xu was there to greet him.

"I just called. Dr. Kadowaki said everything was okay, thank Hyne. Oh, and I wanted to let you know that Mishal passed the exam. Here's the report--"

He quickly handed the paper back to Xu and stormed off, searching the Garden for Instructor Almasy.

----

Squall had searched Balamb Garden most of the afternoon. Seifer was nowhere to be found. He didn't try to expend too much energy toward thinking about the event, but his mind kept drifting back to Seifer. It was almost embarrassing. Squall can save the world from the evil Sorceress Ultimecia, but he couldn't stand up straight on a walk through the Fire Cavern? He found himself wandering back to his quarters.

Seifer was in the room, paging through some of the books on the shelf. As the door opened, Seifer looked up, his face suddenly glowed with pleasant surprise.

"Squall, you're alright," said Seifer, setting the book back on the shelf.

Squall was silent as he went over to his own familiar bed. He plopped himself down and gazed at the ceiling placing his arms behind his head.

Seifer sighed. "To be honest, maybe I actually care that you made it out of there alive."

"Don't joke," said Squall. "You just wanted to make sure you didn't get in trouble for killing your boss."

Seifer approached Squall, grabbing him up by his shirt, pulling him up into a sitting position. "I've had it with you! You're not seventeen anymore, Squall!" Seifer's eyes brimmed over with a type of anger hidden beneath concern.

Squall pushed himself off. Seifer continued. "I could have blown Quistis off and never have come here. I could have just said 'Screw you all' and left. But I didn't, Squall."

"You expect me to be grateful?" Squall sneered.

"No! I expect you to...to..." Seifer was at a loss for words. "She's not coming back, Squall."

"Quistis is coming back next week."

"No, Squall." Seifer did his best to control his concern and speak. "Rinoa. I loved her. She loved you. And if she were here today, she'd want us all to work together. She'd want us to care about each other."

"Rinoa's dead, Seifer." Squall was emotionless. "No one knows what she would have said. You can't predict the future, even impossible ones."

Seifer looked away. He had grown soft. Squall was so cornered in his own mind, it made Seifer sick. Part of him wanted to whip out Hyperion and slice Squall to bits in a fit of rage. How could he be so insensitive? But the other part wanted to protect Squall from the world, from lava, from losing loved ones, from everything. It was his responsibility: by protecting Squall, he'd save Rinoa and the few memories of her that were left. He went back over to Squall's side, sitting next to him on the bed.

Squall barely noticed that Seifer was even next to him. He didn't even notice as Seifer inched closer; he could hear the strong man breathing, each breath a shaky reminder of Squall's own emotions that he was trying to suppress. Seifer wrapped his arms around Squall.

"Squall," said Seifer softly. "You don't have to feel alone anymore." Seifer leaned back a little and the exhausted Squall laid back too. Seifer gasped a little as he felt himself reacting to having Squall in his arms. Years ago, he tortured this body. And now, Seifer cradled Squall, rocking him gently.

A single tear fell from Seifer's face. He didn't know if this is what Quistis had had in mind. He didn't care as he leaned in and passionately pressed his lips against Squall's. He only cared about Squall as Squall kissed him back.

----

Quistis sat at the tiny kitchen table in her cousin's Dollet apartment. She gazed out the window at Dollet's dark overcast sky. The rain was just starting and the streets of Dollet were filled with cars and people. Most of the people scrambled under awnings as the showers began.

Giorri stepped into the room with a teapot. She filled two mugs and placed one in front of Quistis, then sat down across from her.

"It's raining outside," said Giorri, stating the obvious, "I hope it's not going to make you think about work,"

Quistis smiled, "No, somehow I think my work is getting done for me." Her second week of vacation was finishing up; she was all ready to head back to Balamb in two days.

Giorri sipped her tea, "You must have some amazing coworkers."

Quistis giggled. "You have no idea, Giorri," she said, remembering an incident where Xu had somehow managed to lock herself out of her office. She stared out at the storm. It was heading eastward, over the ocean where it would gain strength. It would be powerful once it made it to Balamb. She sighed. No matter how powerful it got, Balamb Garden would still be running safely when she got back. Xu could handle _anything _with grace and ease. And maybe even Seifer was breaking Squall out of his shell.

After she finished her tea, she started getting ready for bed. She would sleep comfortably tonight, knowing that everything was going to be perfect when she returned.


	5. Chapter 5

Seifer felt his stomach flip over inside as he felt Squall reacting to his lips. He began nibbling down Squall's neck, making Squall shiver a little in his arms. Surprisingly, Squall did nothing to protest. Seifer rubbed his hand affectionately over Squall's chest, feeling the battle-hardened muscles underneath his shirt. He slipped his hand down to Squall's abdomen slowly.

Squall reached up and began lifting Seifer's trench coat off. He couldn't believe that Squall actually _wanted _to do this. Seifer's shirt followed the trench coat and he was naked from the waist up.

"Squall, are you sure you want to--"

"Don't ask questions," interrupted Squall, who then pulled Seifer into a deep kiss. Squall's tongue darted inside Seifer's mouth, silencing him further. Squall broke the kiss and lapped down to Seifer's left nipple.

"Squall..." Seifer moaned, feeling his nipples harden with electric excitement. Squall reacted, biting a little, causing Seifer to grip into Squall's shoulders, tighter and tighter. Squall moved to the other nipple, sucking in quickly to draw cold air over it. Seifer whimpered a little and undid his pants, which had tightened due to his growing erection.

Now entirely naked, Seifer focused on undressing Squall. Little by little, he inched down Squall's fur-collared jacket, sniffing along Squall's neck and reveling in his unique dark, spicy scent. He reached down to Squall's crotch for a moment, massaging Squall's hardening erection.

Squall gasped for air as Seifer leaned in and licked along his waistline. Seifer's tongue darted underneath the waistband of his pants as his hand undid them and slid them down Squall's legs. When both were naked, Seifer laid Squall gently on his back and smiled at him.

Seifer leaned in again, nipping at the inside of Squall's thigh. He wrapped his fingers deftly around Squall's hardened erection. Squall shivered a little and Seifer placed a soft hand on his lower abdomen, calming him.

"Squall," said Seifer, "Are you sure that--"

"Don't ask questions, Seifer. Take me."

Seifer lifted Squall's legs back, revealing Squall's most intimate place. The thought of Squall's beauty left Seifer quickly as he began to penetrate Squall, entering into a state of pure bliss.

"Sssquall...oh, fuck," cried Seifer, collapsing. Squall's eyes were closed; his mind was blank. Seifer pushed himself toward Squall, entering him more, making Squall growl deep in his throat. Squall was panting; his chest moved up and down in rhythm with Seifer's thrusts.

"Squall,..." Seifer moaned and thrust hard and fast into Squall one last time, releasing his seed into Squall's tensed body.

"Seifer," Squall whispered, lost in another world. He tried to speak again but Seifer leaned forward, sucking at Squall's neck again. Squall thought Seifer would suck his skin right off, but Seifer was moving up, up, up, along Squall's jawline with his tongue, slipping the tip of it into Squall's ear. Seifer whispered to him gently as he curled his hand around Squall's penis and his tongue along his earlobe.

"I want this so bad, Squall. I want you. Come for me." Seifer began jerking Squall quickly and fiercely. Squall murmured softly and Seifer stretched his other arm around Squall, holding him close. Squall leaned his face into the crook of Seifer's neck and Seifer kissed his face. Seifer felt his muscles go from tense to relax and felt Squall's seed spill all over his thighs.

The two men panted and lay together in sweat and seed. Seifer held Squall close to him; both of them in an exhausted stupor. Seifer whispered to Squall, "You're beautiful." It was the last two words Squall heard before he was transported to the dream world.

----

"_You betrayed her, Squall." said Seifer, standing next to Rinoa's grave, glaring at Squall. "You're the one who caused her to die."_

_Squall looked at Rinoa's headstone. "That's not true."_

"_Yes it is!" yelled Seifer. "You think you had nothing to do with it?! Why didn't you stop her from getting in that car?! Why did you kill her, Squall?"_

"_I didn't!" said Squall, backing away. "Stop, please stop doing this!" There were tears in his eyes._

Squall awoke to the morning sun streaming in through his quarters' tiny window. He had heard there was a storm coming but because it seemed so clear out, he didn't believe it. How late was it? He groped on his nightstand, looking for his watch. As he sat up, he groaned. He was supposed to be in his office two hours ago. Xu was going to be angry with him. At that moment, he suddenly realized someone else was in his bed.

_Seifer._

Horrified, Squall stood up. He was naked. So was Seifer. Doing his best to remain calm, Squall stepped into his bathroom. He felt so _dirty._

He turned on the shower and stepped in. Hot to scorching hot: too much like the fire. He stuck his face under the rapidly cooling water, running his fingers through his hair. _Animal!_

"Rinoa," he whispered and began to sob. What kind of disgusting person was he? He just disgraced his dead lover with...with...Squall had to fight back the urge to vomit. He turned the water colder. Animal. He was an animal, fornicating and betraying all at once. He felt himself shivering in the water, sobbing. Was he drunk last night? He had a headache now but couldn't remember much from last night. Maybe.

He turned off the shower and stepped out, drying himself off with a white towel, scrubbing his skin because he felt so _dirty._ Seifer was still asleep in the next room. Squall searched through his closet for something to wear. He found himself his old SeeD student uniform. It was a little tight but it would have to do. He couldn't wear his normal clothes again.

He opened the door to his quarters and was immediately confroted by Xu and Nida.

"Oh, Squall, we were just coming upstairs to check on you. It's not like you be this late," said Xu, eying Squall's unorthodox attire.

Squall felt his emotional wall of safety return. "Seifer's asleep. We should be quiet."

"What's with the—" asked Nida, poking at Squall's lapel.

"So, Xu, is there anything I missed this morning?" said Squall, interrupting Nida.

"Well, the morning news said that we should be getting a huge storm this evening, so we're going to post a 5:00 pm curfew," said Xu. "And you might want to get Seifer up. He's got a class to teach in about forty-five minutes."

Squall nodded. He wasn't going to go back in that room. "Actually, I think Seifer deserves a break. It's been crazy these last few days. Nida, would you be willing to take over the morning classes for Seifer?"

Nida was a little stunned. "Really? I'd love to, Commander, but who's going to go into town to pick up today's shipment?"

Squall sighed. "Well, I guess I'll go." he said and walked past Xu and Nida, walking just a little bit funny.

----

Seifer stretched and opened his eyes. Squall's room was brightly lit by a midday sun. He sat up and looked around for Squall but he wasn't in sight. He tried to remember back to last night. It was so fast and so spontaneous, but Seifer couldn't remember having a one night stand like that. If it was a one night stand. Back when he was a student, many girls were attracted to his nonchalant, debonair and 'bad boy' ways. But he never woke up feeling as _satisfied _as he did now. Half the time he didn't even spend the night. What was going on?

He got himself dressed and used Squall's private quarters phone to phone Xu.

"Seifer...did you sleep well?" said Xu, through subtly gritted teeth.

"Man, I'm sorry, Xu--"

"That's Assistant Commander to you!" retorted Xu. "We had to get a sub for you. A sub for a sub! Who would've thought! I would think as a Garden instructor you'd be a little more--"

"I don't need the lecture, Xu. Can you tell me where Squall is?"

"I don't know. Find him yourself. You've got afternoon classes to teach." She hung up on him.

Seifer got himself dressed, feeling a little defeated. Or was it shame he felt?

----

Squall had been down at the docks in Balamb for a few hours now. The ship had come in a few minutes late and Squall was loading up one of Garden's vans so the cargo could be taken back. It felt a little fun being on the low end of the faculty system for once. He learned lots of things about Garden: how the cafeteria staff didn't like shipments to come before lunch, how expensive it actually was to print Balamb Garden stationery. He looked up and saw the clouds billowing inward from the ocean. The storm was coming.

"Squall!"

Squall looked around and saw Nida running toward the docks.

"I can take it from here, thanks." said Nida, smiling. "You know, Seifer's awake and he's looking for you. He's back in Quistis' room--"

"Thanks, Nida. But if I want to go see him, I know where to find him."

"Oh." Nida was a little turned off. "Okay then."

Squall left Nida to help with the rest of the cargo.

----

Seifer had no problem finishing his other lectures. The students had all gotten relatively used to him and realized he wasn't so much of a threat. But Squall kept invading his mind. Nobody had seemed to have any idea where he was, except Nida. But Seifer called Nida again when Squall never showed and Nida told him he had no idea where Squall went. Seifer called the office and got Squall's voicemail. Seifer called Xu, who abruptly hung up on him. He eventually pestered her enough to page him over the intercom. Maybe he wasn't even in the building.

Seifer's last class ended and the students slowly filtered out into the hallways. It was close to five o'clock. As he straightened the papers on the desk, he heard the tones of the intercom.

"Attention students and faculty. Due to the impending weather, we are imposing a curfew for all students and faculty at 5:00 or 1700 hours tonight. If you know someone who is in town at this time, please call their cell phone or have them paged. The doors will be locked promptly at 1700 hours. Thank you."

"Perfect," thought Seifer. "Squall will have to be inside soon."

----

Squall entered Xu's office about fifteen minutes after she made the final curfew announcement.

"Squall!" said Xu, looking up from her computer screen and smiling. "Seifer's been looking for you; have you spoken to him yet?"

Squall sighed. He didn't know how else to bring it up. "Xu, is it possible to have Seifer moved to a different sleeping quarters?"

"Why? Is there a problem?"

"I'm not answering personal questions," said Squall.

"Oh," replied Xu. Xu and Squall had always been friends but when Squall enforced his position over her, she knew something had to be wrong. "Well, I don't think I'll be able to handle that tonight...and Quistis will be back in about a day or so. Is it really that urgent?"

"Then can I sleep in Quistis' quarters?" Squall was adamant.

"I guess I can't stop you," said Xu, making her confusion obvious. She typed on her computer for a few moments. "Here's the door code," said Xu, scribbling a series of numbers on a piece of scratch paper.

Squall muttered a thanks and exited quickly, leaving behind a perplexed Xu.

----

The sky was dark as the dinner hour rolled around and rain pelted the windows of Balamb Garden. Lightning was seen off in a distance but as far as Seifer knew, everyone was safely inside the building.

Seifer hadn't seen Squall at the faculty dinner table nor in his office or even in the hallways. Eventually, he gave and returned to Squall's quarters, knowing there couldn't possibly be other place he'd be. He entered. The room was dimly lit by a desk lamp, but otherwise was completely dark, quiet, and empty. He felt a sort of miniature panic and fear as the tiny hairs on his skin stood up. He reached for the phone again.

"Xu? Where is Squall? I haven't seen him once today," said Seifer, sounding a little worried.

"Okay. What is going on between you two?!" asked Xu.

"You've seen him, haven't you?!" said Seifer.

"Yes, but honestly, Seifer, what is going on? You've been frantic and he's been edgy. Tell me, now," said Xu, demanding in the best of her administrative authority.

For once, Seifer had no answer to give her.

"Fine. Fine. You both can just hush up. Something's up." She hung up. Seifer stood alone in Squall's quarters. He felt rather lonely. And maybe a little sick. Why did he _want _Squall? Why was he so worried about him now? Questions flooded his mind. Rather than brood and think on them, he found his way over to his own bed (away from Squall's, as far as he could) and tried to numb his brain into sleep.

----

Xu rang Quistis; dinner hour was just beginning in Dollet.

"Hi, Xu. Everything okay?"

"Well, I guess so. We've been hit by a ferocious storm, so I probably shouldn't be using the phone. But something's going on between Squall and Seifer."

Quistis laughed. "Well, what'd you expect? Those two have fought with each other since they were kids." She felt a little uncertain saying that. While it's true she did tell Seifer she wanted him to approach Squall, she couldn't believe he'd actually do it, let alone leave any sort of imprint on Squall.

"No, it's not that," said Xu. "Everything changed this morning. Squall has totally _disappeared_, or at least is being as lonely as possible. And Seifer's been practically searching the entire island of Balamb looking for him."

"What?" asked Quistis. Maybe Seifer coming to Balamb only would make things worse. "That doesn't make any sense at all! Why would they do that?"

"Beats me," replied Xu. "Anyway, I'd better go. I have a feeling this storm--"

The call dropped. Quistis figured it had something to do with the storm but she still had a little hesitation. The Balamb she'd be returning to would be so much different than the one she left.


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N**_ My apologies for the delay but I tried to do the best I could to make a good chapter for everyone. Please enjoy. I know that some of you (not naming anyone, but those of you who actually did review and/or contact me want to see some Zell, Selphie, and Irvine. It's coming, I swear.

* * *

"Shit!" said Xu as the lights around her went out. The power had just cut out at Balamb Garden. She set down the phone and sighed. It was her job to help in times like this anyway, so there was no use in continuing the conversation with Quistis. Reluctantly, but somewhat proud, she stood up and left her office. 

Some of the instructors were milling around in the second floor hallway. Xu quickly went up to them. "I need you all to get the students back to their dormitories. We're closing all departments until further notice is given." The instructors nodded and ran off to round up students. As they left the hall, Seifer emerged from Squall's room.

Xu sighed. The hall was dark but she could still see his face with the emergency lights. "I suppose there's not a point in being angry with you now. I've got a job to do. Squall's in Quistis' quarters."

"Why is he in there?" Seifer didn't sound surprised.

"He requested to not sleep in the same room as you for the duration of your stay," said Xu. "I'm not asking questions." With that, Xu walked away to go help the other instructors.

----

Squall lay in total darkness in Quistis' windowless quarters. He was in the half-asleep, half-awake state but the power outage had made his brain run wild. Like the electricity stopped running through the building and instead coursing through him. He let the darkness soak into his pores. He was home here where no one could bother him and he could be alone with his thoughts.

He thought about Seifer. Squall felt very...stupid...for not being able to resist Seifer. He was stronger than that. And since when did Seifer have _any _sort of attraction to him? It was all too confusing to think about.

He heard, from a distance, Quistis' door open. He stared into the darkness waiting for a sign of who it might be. But he didn't even need to loot. He knew the sound of his gait.

"What are you doing in here?" asked Seifer. He was trying his best to contain his part-anger, part-excitement. It was hard.

Squall was silent. In the darkness, he couldn't see Seifer's face to check his real emotions. He felt Seifer coming closer to the bed.

"Don't," said Squall. "Do not come near me."

"I'm not letting you get rid of me that easily," said Seifer. "I've been looking for you all day long. And I find out you've been purposely avoiding me."

Squall glared at the source of Seifer's voice. Even in pure darkness, the glare was evident in his tone. "Get away from me. You disgust me."

"I'm not leaving."

"Fine. Then shut up." Squall turned over on the bed. The conversation was over.

Seifer sat down on the floor next to the doorway, defeated. He felt horrible. Squall's words had pierced his heart. _Disgusting. _Squall had called him disgusting. He felt a tear or two come to his eyes.

"Squall..." he choked, not knowing what to do with himself. He couldn't leave, but Squall wouldn't let him stay.

There was no response.

Seifer's anger began to boil over his concern. He. Was. Not. Weak. He wasn't going to take an insult from Squall! Not like this. Not here. How stupid of him.

"Get up, now!" shouted Seifer, standing up and startling Squall.

"What?"

"I WILL NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!" Seifer was screaming through some tears. He approached Squall and pulled him up fiercely from the bed, stretching his clothes."Why do you do this to me?! What's it going to take to get you to listen?!"

At that moment, everything flashed. The power had returned to Balamb Garden. Xu must have gone down to the MD level and fixed it, thought Seifer. Seifer's face was flushed with rage and tears; he held Squall roughly in his fist. Squall was even pulled up off of the bed.

And Squall was crying too.

"Rinoa..." he said, choking a little. "I...am in love...with Rinoa."

With that, Seifer released Squall roughly, throwing his body limply to the floor. He turned around and left, leaving Squall to his own thoughts.

----

Neither one of them slept through the night. Squall lay wide awake on his bed, quietly sobbing. The realization was finally hitting him. He was alone. Alone now in someone else's room. Alone in his life. Rinoa was gone and she wasn't coming back. He had closed off his heart to everyone that Rinoa had had him open up to. Morning came but Squall didn't notice, as Quistis' room had no windows.

As for Seifer, he had returned to Squall's room and punched his bed hard, cracking it in two. "That idiot!" thought Seifer. Squall could be so...stubborn was the only word that fit. When morning came, Seifer got himself dressed and went down to the cafeteria for breakfast. It would give him time to think about how to approach Squall.

----

Xu left Garden after breakfast and walked the short road to Balamb. Despite the fact that she thought the road took a beating with fallen trees and power lines, Balamb was in an even worse state. The small port city looked like a tiny war zone. The bright sun shone down on the mess, sort of mocking the citizens who were early risers and were helping clean up. Xu found Ma Dincht standing in her doorway with a hand over her mouth, absolutely shocked.

"The storm was much worse than we had feared," she said as Xu walked over. "I can't...I just can't believe it." She was gazing out on the street, looking at the glass which had shattered from nearly every window.

Xu remained calm and called Nida on her cell phone. "Nida, cancel classes today. We need as many people in the city as we can get to help clean up here. It's a disaster."

A million thoughts were racing through Xu's mind as she hung up her phone with a click. How was Quistis supposed to get back? What was she going to do about Seifer and Squall? Being an administrator, she had a constant drive to control everything. But simple things like people just seemed so far from controllable...

----

"What do you mean I can't get back to Balamb!?" said Quistis angrily to the man at the station office in Timber. "I have a ticket reserved!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but Balamb Station has canceled all arrivals due to weather conditions. I'd be happy to exchange your ticket for a different day." The clerk did his best to deal with her.

"I need to be back in Balamb today! It's urgent!" said Quistis. Well, it wasn't urgent, but it could have been. What was a little lie anyway? Besides, from the sound of it, Xu had too much on her plate; she was going to need her help.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but like I've already explained--"

Quistis tried to focus. "Isn't there anything you can do?"

"Well, Dollet Harbor hasn't closed their port--"

"I just came from Dollet!" shouted Quistis. "It'll be another two hours going back there."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but that's the only option I have for you."

Quistis sighed. "Fine. Give me a ticket for Dollet." She paid for her ticket (the man gave it to her for half price) and strode back out in the Timber streets for the Dollet train platform. Everything was getting turned upside-down.

----

When Squall finally woke up about mid-afternoon, Seifer was waiting for him outside the door. The halls were eerily quiet.

"Where is everyone today?" asked Squall, wearing yesterday's clothes.

"Xu canceled classes today so that the students could help clean up the school and the city. The storm really hit hard."

They walked in silence to the elevator and ended up in the Quad. The place was deserted aside from the sounds of outside. The sky was clear and bright now. Squall was rather surprised that the place was clean. The summer air was cooer than had been a few weeks ago; autumn was setting in.

"The students were already in here this morning," explained Seifer. "Are you hungry? You missed breakfast and lunch today."

Squall would have said nothing. But he just couldn't hurt anyone with silence anymore. "No, not really. I just want to relax today."

Seifer took this opportunity to approach Squall. "I need to talk to you, Squall."

Now Squall was silent.

"I need you to understand something. Quistis sent me specifically because she thought I could...that you could...that you could open up again." Seifer was just glad that the words were out.

Squall scoffed. "You certainly made me open up alright."

"Squall, I'm not a pervert. Don't look at me that way." Seifer's voice was as cold as he could make it. "I did what I felt like doing. So did you."

"Just like an animal," said Squall to himself. "How could you do this to me? You know I'm not...like that."

"Because you were alone."

"Why me, Seifer?" Squall didn't turn around to look at him anymore. It was almost painful.

"After you killed Ultimecia, they would have killed me. You don't know what it's like to be hated the world over."

"Don't play the victim with me, Seifer."

"No, Squall, listen. It took me _years _to get to where I am now. I started my life over. I worked my ass off to convince everyone I knew that I wasn't evil. I never felt so alone. When Garden welcomed me, I felt as though I had a family again. And Squall, when Rinoa died--"

"Don't mention her, you bastard!" Squall whirled around and slammed Seifer up against the wall.

"Squall," said Seifer, wincing. It wasn't physical pain, though. "You were alone, too." He reached a hand up and stroked the side of Squall's face. Squall twitched away angrily. "Squall...you don't have to be...alone anymore..."

Squall's face softened and Seifer put his hand up to his cheek again. This time, Squall didn't brush it away. Something inside Seifer melted a little and he felt Squall let him back down on his feet. Squall pushed him back into the wall and put his face next to Seifer's. He could smell his breath, his day-old clothes, and Seifer's emotions all at once. Seifer responded pushed back, pressing into Squall again, wanting just to be close, just to be safe in this instant. Squall closed his eyes and moved his lips to meet Seifer's.

There was no guilt, no remorse at all as Seifer drew Squall into the most powerful kiss he had ever experienced. Squall's lips were soft and tired, but they were his. Something was screaming inside him; this feeling was amazing!

Actually, someone was screaming _outside _him.

It was Quistis who suddenly appeared on the steps of the Quad, her mouth wide open in shock.

"Oh...my...what?" She stammered for words, sort of cocking her head to the side, then shaking it to make sure she was actually seeing the two of them correctly. Xu quickly appeared behind her.

"What's going on? Quistis, are you okay? I heard screaming..."

Quistis was too busy laughing to answer. "Well, Seifer," she said, "you most definitely got Squall to open up!"

Seifer couldn't help but give a sheepish grin.

----

About a half an hour later, Xu, Quistis, Seifer and Squall sat around the table in the conference room on the third floor. There was a certain tenseness in the air, an awkwardness not normally present amongst these four friends. It was reacting with everyone's rapidly changing emotions at the time. Squall and Seifer were trying to shut out the world while Xu frantically panicked inside her head, trying to organize it all. Quistis tried her best to observe the new nuances of the group.

"So...let me get this straight," said Xu, closing her eyes and trying to think by setting her head on her arms. "Seifer and Squall were...kissing?"

No one seemed to have any response to confirm the obvious.

"...There's apparently something I don't really understand here," Xu concluded and waited for someone else to speak.

Quistis glanced at Seifer quickly after Xu finished. He had obviously transformed from the man from five years ago but the metamorphosis from just two weeks ago was evident. Her plan had worked, but not _nearly _in the way she intended. Squall had touched something inside Seifer, rather than the other way around.

"Squall, Seifer, can you at least tell us why you were...kissing?" said Quistis, choosing her words carefully as to not offend.

Seifer looked at Squall who was gazing intently at the corner of the table. "I...I don't have an answer for you, sorry."

Xu was getting irritated and rolled her eyes. Quistis shot her a dirty look and placed a hand on Seifer's. "Seifer, it's okay. Really." She smiled. Even in the most awkward of situations, Quistis' attitude kept a level of calmness and sanity among the others sitting there. "I suppose we better let the two of you go..."

In the craziness of the situation, Seifer and Squall muttered goodbyes and flustered themselves out the door. They turned opposite direction in the hallway.

Xu scowled when the door shut. "Well, this is just perfect. As Assistant Commander, I'm going to have to report this to Galbadia Garden; we can't have this getting out in the papers--"

"Xu, just...relax..." Quistis did her best to control her best friend. "Has it really been this hectic here that you're stretched so thin?"

"Are you kidding?!" shouted Xu, almost standing. She realized the volume of her voice and lowered herself back down putting her head in her hands. "Quistis, first Squall got his body burnt to a crisp, then he disappeared and I ended up with the paperwork, then the storm hit and now..."

"Well, it's understandable. I'm not one to believe in divine intervention, but you know why I asked Seifer to come here."

"Yes, I do." Xu sighed and sat back up, looking at Quistis. "You obviously weren't intending _this _as your result."

"Well...no," Quistis giggled, trying to sound positive. "But, Xu, think. What if we keep doing this? What if we keep the two of them together? This relationship might be the key to bringing Squall back around."

"Are you kidding?" asked Xu. "Squall has been the most distant, most cold he's ever been. You can't possibly think this is healthy...for anyone."

"No, I'm not kidding. Right now, it's just initial rejection. But there's this...spark from Squall and Seifer. Didn't you feel it?"

"I think you're on drugs," said Xu, pointblank. "I also think for a Garden instructor, your logic is flawed. But for me to put up with you...and our lover-boys...mine must be too."

They shared a good laugh rooted deep in their friendship. After a little bit of brainstorming, they drafted a plan.

"Okay, then. I'll call Martine at Galbadia next week and see if he's willing to transfer Seifer over here for this fall semester. Hopefully, we can get Selphie and Irvine to at least show up for the Opening Assembly."

"That'd be nice. We haven't seen them in a while. Do you think Seifer or Squall would object to this?"

Xu smiled. "By the time they figure out what's going on, it'll be too late and we wouldn't be able to change it. Sometimes I love bureaucracy."

"Now you're on drugs."

----

Of course, Xu never mentioned Zell, thought Quistis as she retired to her quarters which seemed a little bit messier than she left it. No one had heard from him the world over. None of the Gardens, the Esthar authorities, no sightings, no letters, no calls. All since that horrible night. As much as she and everyone else wanted to find Zell, she knew it was impossible. If he didn't want to come back, he certainly didn't have to.

It'd be great to see his smiling face back in Garden congratulating Seifer on joining the staff and then punching the air after Seifer called him 'chicken-wuss'. The good days.

Quistis got herself to bed before it was too painful to remember.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N**_ My apologies to everyone. This chapter is a bit later than I expected it to be but somehow made chapters of my story disappear on certain days. But this chapter is long and hopefully just as good to you all as the previous ones. I'm also apologizing that Zell isn't physically present in this chapter but I at least explain why he can't be. Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

* * *

Headmaster Martine stood in the Grand Office of Galbadia Garden, staring out over the shining concentric rings of hallways below him. Things were starting to look up on this bright sunny afternoon. The fall semester would be starting soon and the returning students were still buzzing with summer excitement.

The phone on his desk beeped, bringing him back to reality.

"Headmaster, you have a call on Line 6," said his secretary Marie.

Line 6, thought Martine. That was the international line. He couldn't think of any reason anyone should be calling. The bank in Esthar called the day before and he wasn't expecting a call from Trabia or Balamb.

"Who is it?" asked Martine.

"It's the Administrator's Office from Balamb Garden, sir."

"...Send it through," said Martine. It was certainly odd to get a call from Balamb. Commander Leonheart was always so self-sufficient.

"Galbadia Garden Headmaster speaking."

"Martine, this is Xu." Martine chuckled to himself. Lacking titles meant that this wasn't official business.

"What can I do for you?"

"A little favor," said Xu. Her tone was such that Martine could tell whatever this favor was, it wouldn't be easy. "I was thinking about doing a little...re-distribution of faculty for this semester."

"'Re-distribution'?" asked Martine. "What do you mean?"

"We want to keep Instructor Almasy on our staff."

Martine was silent on the other end of the line. "Isn't it a little late to be doing something like that? The fall semester starts in under two weeks. And even if I were to agree to this, who's going to pick up Seifer's scheduled classes?"

"We'd be willing to transfer one of our instructors," Xu seemed to always be prepared for any possible flaw in a plan.

"Let me guess, Xu, you've already got the papers drafted for the transfer."

"Actually, they're sitting on your secretary's desk right--"

"You're crazy, you know that. What's the deal? Why are you doing this?" Martine wasn't mad. He actually wished he had someone that efficient on his own staff.

"Well, the reason Instructor Trepe requested Instructor Almasy when she took off was...well...for a personal reason, I guess. She wanted someone to talk with Squall."

"So she chooses _Seifer Almasy_, previous rival and enemy of both him and Garden?"

Xu sighed. Maybe Quistis' flawed logic was just that: flawed logic. It didn't make any sense. But the whole thing was so much more complicated now than it was two weeks ago.

"Martine, we have reason to believe the two are romantically involved."

"Quistis and Seifer?!"

Xu cringed. "No. Seifer and Squall."

Martine was speechless for a moment. "What?! How?"

"I'm not asking questions," said Xu. "And I don't think you should either."

"Xu, as much as I know you want to help your friend, I believe you're asking too much. It...It's too late, Xu. I'm sorry, but not right now. I'd be willing to help you for the spring semester." Martine paused for a moment. "You've talked with Seifer and Squall about this, right?"

"Well...not really, no." said Xu.

"Listen, Xu. Call me back in December when the semester's over. Then we can talk about this. Otherwise, Seifer's coming back to Galbadia." Before Xu could protest, he hung up the phone.

He went back to his post by the window. This was definitely unexpected. Seifer wasn't exactly thrilled about going to Balamb. Now he didn't want to leave, or at least that's how Xu put it. He either didn't want to leave or there really was something going on. Despite that, he set it aside. He'd ask Seifer when he arrived back. At that moment, he had incoming freshmen and a new semester to deal with.

----

"Knock, knock" said Quistis through the door to Squall's office, though she didn't actually knock. "Xu and I are heading down to the station to see off Seifer. You wanna come?"

"Quistis, I'm busy. As you know, I've seen enough of Seifer."

Quistis giggled but did her best to make sure Squall didn't hear.

"I know you're laughing, Quistis. It's not funny."

"Sorry, Squall." She opened the door. Squall was sitting at his desk, staring at his computer terminal, but didn't seem to be very absorbed in any sort of work.

"Look, Squall," said Quistis. He didn't. "I want you to know that what I saw is just betwe--"

"I don't want to talk about it, Instructor Trepe."

Quistis stopped speaking. Inside, she was beginning to wonder if bringing Seifer to Balamb was a good idea. And she wondered, was Squall miserable because Seifer was there? Or was he miserable because Seifer was leaving...

----

Seifer seemed just as aloof as Squall did as he stepped into his train car, heading to the continent to the west. He felt_ horrible. _Squall at least deserved a proper good-bye. It was as if once they were discovered, they pushed him out the door. He didn't even get a chance to explain himself, although he wouldn't know what he'd say if asked.

The train sped along the underwater tunnel. It'd be several hours before they arrived in Timber which gave him plenty of time to think. He wasn't exactly proud of himself but he wasn't ashamed either. But that didn't matter: the damage was done. Who knew what Xu and Quistis were saying to people? Maybe the faculty back in Galbadia already knew and they'd whispering the moment he stepped through the front gate.

He reached in his pocket and flipped open his cell phone, with the idea of maybe talking to Squall for a moment. But the words **NO SERVICE **glowed on the screen. He had forgot where he was. He was stuck, without any outside contact, for many hours until he was home.

He finally arrived at East Academy Station in the late afternoon, exhausted from the hours of sitting, doing nothing. And he still had a decent walk through woods before he could even see Galbadia Garden. In order to not feel so lonely, he flipped open his phone and called Squall's cell phone, not caring about the international rate he'd probably be paying.

The phone rang. And rang again. Seifer was convinced Squall wouldn't pick up and pulled the phone away from his ear to close it. But the screen now displayed **CONNECTED. **But he wasn't getting voicemail. Someone had answered.

"Hello?...Squall?" Seifer somehow knew it was Squall.

Squall was silent.

"I know you're listening, Squall..."

Still silence. Then his voice. "Seifer...where are you?"

"I...I'm in Galbadia, walking back to the Garden."

"Seifer...I'm sorry..."

"No, don't be." Seifer's words were surprisingly calm and reassuring. "It's not your fault. Not at all."

"Seifer,...they want you to stay."

"What?" It was then Seifer realized the predicament he was in. Squall wasn't just a person anymore. He was _his_. Ever since they had touched one another, ever since Quistis caught them in the Quad, they would be forever connected.

"Xu spoke with Martine. You'll be joining us next semester...if I sign off on it." Seifer was unable to discern what Squall meant by that last part.

The cold night air stung Seifer just as much as Squall's words. "Y-you do want to sign it,...don't you?"

"I don't want you to leave me," said Squall, quietly.

"Are you ashamed of me, Squall?" Seifer began to pick up speed; he was almost home and having such a personal conversation gave him the feeling of being watched.

"...No."

Seifer was about to speak but his phone beeped. Not a dead battery, not no service. Squall had hung up. Defeated, Seifer walked toward the glow of Galbadia Garden.

----

The fall semester, to Squall, was the longest semester he had ever experienced since he had restarted classes at Balamb Garden. No new technology, no new courses, no new administrative techniques for the students to complain about. Squall went through the typical motions as he had done every year. Everything was running smoothly but so slowly, to him at least.

In November, Balamb's sunny climate had transformed to the lush colors of fall and by the beginning of December, a thin layer of frost covered the grass each morning. Squall bundled up in a tan leather jacket one Saturday, heading into town to have lunch with Ma Dincht. His cell phone rang along the way.

"Hey, hey! SQUALL! Oh, I'm so happy to hear you!" said a chirpy voice on the other line.

Squall chuckled. "Hello, Selphie."

"It's been AGES! How are you?" said Selphie. The background noise was loud; Selphie was probably cooking. "What time is it there?"

"I'm alright. It's about twelve thirty; I'm heading out to lunch. How's Irvine?"

"Oh, ha! Irvine's great...well...except for his cold. I'm cooking him some soup for dinner. We're completely snowed in here."

"Well, it's not my fault you decided to rebuild Trabia Garden."

"Oh, hush. This is our best year ever! I just wish it was easier to get places. I haven't left Garden in months. Irvine's trying to get a train link to Esthar, but you know how _they _can get. Resistant to change."

Squall smiled. Despite all the possible problems about life in the frozen tundra, Selphie was just as happy as ever.

"So," said Squall. "You two coming here for the holidays?"

"Of course! We wouldn't miss it for the world! I'm so excited. I haven't seen some of you since...since..." Selphie paused as both of them finished the sentence. "Sorry."

Squall was silent for a moment, but then reconsidered. "It's okay, Selphie. No harm done."

"Anyway," said Selphie, quickly changing the topic to something more lighthearted. "I've gotta get this soup up to Irvy. Otherwise, I'll be bringing a sick Irvine to Balamb." They said their goodbyes and hung up.

Squall walked into the town. Not exactly being the time for tourists, the town was virtually deserted except for its residents. This used to be Squall's favorite time of year; a tranquil town with only familiar faces present. But today, as he walked down the main street, he felt something lacking. He couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Squall!" cried Ma Dincht from the doorway. "Get inside before you catch a cold; that coat's not good enough for this time of year."

Seifer ducked inside the Dincht home. It was warm and stuffy like a typical grandmother's home. Not much had changed throughout the years but Ma had expanded her kitchen a bit in recent years. People guessed that maybe she was filling the hole in her heart left by Zell's disappearance with her other love: cooking.

Ma was cooking something delicious, probably her famous seafood stirfry. He was right and as she prepared the table with a heaping amount of food, Squall thought he might be full until Selphie and Irvine arrived.

"Come now, sit down," she said before the food was even touching the table. "You need something on those bones other than skin. Come now, eat before it gets cold."

Squall began eating and Ma sat down across from him, only helping herself after she dished additional food onto Squall's plate. Squall reluctantly motioned her to stop but Ma simply said "Nonsense!" and continued adding to the growing pile.

When they had finally started eating, Ma was first to speak. A skilled conversationalist, Ma knew just how to break ice _fast. _"So, Xu tells me you've been dating Seifer Almasy."

Squall dropped his fork. "Well, really, it's not dating. He was only here for two--"

"Oh, he's such a nice boy. And so are you Squall. You two make the cutest couple." Squall's face turned red; she was so straightforward about it. "You've really changed, Squall. I would never have guessed someone like you was interested in--"

"This food is delicious!" said Squall, quickly burying his face in his food because he was still red enough to be noticeable. "I bet Zell really liked this."

The ultimate subject change stunned Ma enough to make her stop talking about Seifer. "He _does_. It _is _his second favorite."

She knew exactly how to affect him. Squall felt horrible again. They had never found Zell's body and Ma insisted on using present tense with his name. The only problem was no one knew anything. Ever since that dreadful day of Rinoa's death, Zell had ceased to exist to everyone except in memories. And over time, the memories had faded until Zell was nothing but an imprint that no one discussed in conversation.

There were no answers, no explanations. The crash had just happened with no source, no witnesses of the before-hand hours. The only piece of proof they had was this: Zell had been driving. After the crash, Zell wasn't there anymore. The question that had been on everyone's minds was something no one asked: Was Zell a murderer?

Squall and Ma finished their lunch in relative silence. When they had finished their second helping (or at least, the _insisted _second helping), Ma pushed her plate away and spoke to Squall.

"Squall, I have something to tell you."

"Ma, I'm sorry. I should have been more sensi--"

"No, no. It's fine." She held up a hand that suggested that he listen, and listen good. "I want to tell you something. And it's fine if you don't listen to me now, but maybe someday you'll thank me for it. We, your friends at the school, me,...and even Seifer, we've been watching you. We watched you in pain as you shut down after Rinoa passed away."

Squall cringed but it somehow seemed less painful. Maybe it was because the environment he was in was so warm and comfortable. Ma reached out and touched his hand.

"We care about you, Squall. But you're changing. Slowly but surely, you are. And, Squall, dear, we support you. Sign that form, bring Seifer home where he belongs."

Ma looked like she was about to cry, but Squall wouldn't watch. How Ma knew about the form, he couldn't imagine (Xu was way too efficient for her own good). He stood up.

"Thank you, Mrs. Dincht...Ma." He smiled.

She smiled back. He knew he didn't have a choice now. He excused himself and walked back to Garden, buttoning his coat with a pen in hand.

----

Seifer's last class of the day finally ended. The fall semester at Galbadia had been a horribly stressful experience. So many new students had enrolled this year, as this year, Galbadia opened its doors to freshmen students from as far away as Esthar. He had been teaching basic gunblade training since early afternoon and it had left him feeling a little weak. Strength apparently did known an age.

He stood up from his chair and draped his trench coat over his arm. As he began straightening out the desk for the next day, there was a knock on the door. Headmaster Martine entered with two of his advisors.

"Headmaster, what can I do for you?" said Seifer, greeting him and his comrades.

"Please, drop the titles, Seifer. This is strictly personal." said Martine, smiling to show he had good news. "I'm assuming Balamb Garden has contacted you about adding you to their faculty as a full-time instructor."

Seifer beamed. "Yes, sir, yes they have." He suddenly felt a wave of concern. Maybe Martine would tell him it wasn't going to happen.

"We'll be sad to see you leave," said Martine, "but satisfied knowing we had such a powerful instructor start his career here." Martine's assistant reached among the papers on her clipboard and handed one to Seifer. It was labeled as **Employee Transfer **along the top. Seifer's eyes opened wide.

"You'll be starting immediately after the holidays for the spring semester. And Xu has emailed me saying that we're to make sure you're there in time for their holiday get-together."

Seifer was ecstatic. He thanked them all individually, shaking hands quickly with Martine before heading out into the hallway. Squall had done it! He had signed the form! As he walked back to his quarters, he felt a little more reserved. But he was still content. He would be with Squall again. He had nothing to feel ashamed about anymore; he didn't care what anyone thought.

He opened the door to his quarters and walked over to his wall calendar. Eagerly, he poked each square as he counted the days off. December 20 marked the end of the fall semester at Galbadia Garden. Mere days. He marked a red "X" on December 21, the day he would be on a train heading to Balamb. Heading home.

----

Today was December 21. 8:51 A.M., Balamb-Fishermans Horizon Standard Time. Squall paced in a narrow line along the rail in the Balamb Station Yard.

"Squall! Have a little patience!" said Quistis who was sitting on one of the steps. "The train is perfectly on time. It'll be here at 8:56."

8:56 sounded like years away. He checked his watch. Four more minutes. He looked over at his sleepy-eyed comrades. They were sitting next to each other in yesterday's clothes, a bit irritated that Squall woke them up so early on the first day they could sleep in. Squall only wanted to make sure Seifer got a proper welcome.

Nida laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "Hyne, Squall, you're like a school girl waiting to be picked up for a date." Everyone snickered. Ma Dincht, who was an early riser anyway, guffawed loudly and came up and embraced Squall. They were all happy for him, despite their early rise.

The day after Squall had signed the form, Seifer gave him a call. He had received news from Martine and had even gone to the train station and booked tickets ahead of time. 2:07 am, December 21. Squall thought he was insane but Seifer said he didn't want to waste a moment in Galbadia if he didn't have to. He told Squall that he was coming home.

"Listen! It's coming!" shouted Xu.

The sound of the rumble of the train echoed from the entrance of the transcontinental tunnel. The station worker waited as the train slowed to a stop and aligned the stairway with the door. Obviously, this wasn't the busiest train of the day, especially with classes being over. Only a few passengers had stepped out before Seifer emerged.

Squall pulled him from the steps and into a tight embrace. Nothing felt more satisfying than this. The few seconds they hugged was the most powerful feeling he had felt in a long time. Seifer stroked the back of his head for just a moment before breaking away to greet the others.

Xu walked up to him. "Welcome, Instructor Almasy," she said. Her gripes with him were long gone now that she saw what he did for Squall.

Quistis had gone through the trouble of bringing one of the vans from the school to take them all back. They all piled into the confined back area, although Squall graciously gave pleasantly plump Ma the spacious front seat. Quistis stepped into the driver's seat and drove away with textbook perfect driving skills.

A thin layer of snow covered the ground of the island. It wasn't much and would probably be all that Balamb would get. Near the mountains, the snow was thicker but the road was clean the entire way. Quistis parked the van on the east side parking lot and ushered everyone out into the hallway.

Balamb Garden was extravagantly decorated for the holidays. Seifer awed at the amount of sparkling lights that ran around every one of the dividers between the individual areas of the Garden.

"Suggestions from Selphie," said Xu, unbuttoning her sweater a little, mostly because she was warm but also drawing some attention away from the renewed boy love. "You all know she'd throw a fit if we didn't at least have lights up."

Quistis chuckled. "You should see what else we did, Seifer. We've got a huge tree put up in the Quad."

"And don't forget Ma's recipes that we're using in the cafeteria," said Nida, glad to relate to them at least a little. Ma smiled at him.

"This is all for our party?" asked Seifer. The students had left and the school was mostly deserted.

"Yes, to some degree," explained Xu. "But, really, the only reason we're doing this is..."

"Let me explain," said Quistis. "You _don't _want to disappoint Selphie."

Squall remembered horrifyingly Selphie's passion for explosions, fire, and chaos.

"When do you expect they'll get here?" asked Seifer. They looked at him as if he were talking nonsense.

Quistis giggled, "Sorry, Seifer, but Irvine and Selphie aren't exactly a couple who follow rigid schedules. We don't know when they'll be here or even how they'll be here. But they'll be here. As random as they can seem, they're two of the most dependable people I know."

"There's higher people on my list of dependability," said Seifer, smiling and catching a glimpse of Squall. Seifer placed his arms around him, just testing what he said.

"Well, come now! I'm sure the food's getting cold. We could at least welcome your newest staff member!" Ma had somehow ended up behind everybody. Her words intimidated everyone in moving toward the cafeteria where the banquet was to be served.

Squall looked over at Seifer as they walked together. They walked close but didn't hold hands. There was some sort of spark between them that didn't need physical contact...at least at that moment.

----

The sun had set and Selphie and Irvine hadn't shown up. No matter; they still had a few days before the holidays actually started.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you over these last few months," said Squall, stepping into his dim quarters. Rather than rearranging assignments, Seifer opted to sleep in Squall's quarters again.

Seifer looked up from unpacking and smiled at Squall. "I do, Squall. I felt it too." He set his stuff down and walked up to Squall, gently drawing him close and planting a kiss on his lips. "You're certainly special to me."

Squall pulled Seifer closer to him and kissed him again, a deep kiss. Their tongues wrapped around each other playfully at first. Seifer pulled Squall's body tightly to him. He was so _hungry, _starving for Squall's body. It had been too long for them. Seifer slipped his hand to Squall's waistband, loosening his pants and making Squall hiss a little.

Out of nowhere, a huge explosion sounded and the resulting blaze lit up the night sky. Interrupted by this, Seifer and Squall followed the crowd of people downstairs to the front gate. Everyone was gazing at a destroyed airship which had crashed in front of the Garden. Out of the smoke, two familiar faces dressed in overstuffed winter gear emerged. It seemed that Selphie and Irvine had finally arrived.


	8. Chapter 8

They had finally settled down in the Quad around the tree. For a while, it had been utter chaos. Xu and Quistis screamed as they ran to the wreckage outside and confusion ensuing. However, since the town and school were pretty much deserted, there wasn't much panic as everyone realized who landed.

Everyone greeted and hugged as they headed inside. Squall strayed behind a bit, helping Irvine put out any remaining flames in the crash. There was a lightness in the air, a happiness that came from the group being together again. They had fought together, they had strained and worked together, they _knew _each other in the deepest sense of the word. And now, for the first time in years, they were back.

"I wish you guys didn't have to pick an _island _for us to land on!" said Selphie, after getting inside and warming up a bit.

Quistis was the one to ask the obvious question. "Selphie, why did you guys have to pick _an airship _as a way to get here?"

Selphie sighed and began to explain the story as if an airship was perfectly logical. "Well, Trabia's great and all…it's just…rather remote. We don't exactly have trains or cars like here. Soooo…why not try and use some of Trabia's old air arsenal and get ourselves here?"

Xu, with her ever-extensive knowledge of Garden, decided to chime in as she overheard this. "Oh, maybe because you don't have air clearance? Or that the airship you used was a historical artifact? Or that you could have _killed _somebody trying to land that thing?" She was obviously trying very hard to be angry while at the same time so very glad to see that Selphie and Irvine still knew how to make an entrance.

"Things are pretty calm up in Trabia," said Selphie, sipping coffee. Everyone stared at her a little dumbfounded wondering how Selphie could ever be 'calm'. "Irvine's the Commander, and I'm Assistant Commander, kinda like you, Xu." Xu coughed a little into her own coffee, a little insulted that sporadic Selphie would compare herself to her. Xu visualized Selphie's "desk" in Trabia and shuddered.

"We don't have a lot of students, not nearly as many as the other Gardens, but I think that appeals to some people. The small town feel, the quiet nights, the disconnect from it all so you can be alone with the people you love," Selphie dreamily laid back onto Irvine's shoulder and looked up into his eyes. He put his arm around her, smiling. They were obviously in love.

Squall glanced at Irvine in this moment. Irvine hadn't said a word so far, outside of greetings and simple responses. He had changed a lot since last he saw him, signs of age and wisdom were thick on his face. Squall wondered what was going through his head at that moment, in that moment where he smiled at Selphie. Did Seifer feel the same way when he looked at him?

"We're definitely glad to see you," said Quistis, interrupting his thoughts, "Let's not talk about work right now; we've got a month of free time."

With that, people began sharing stories of different ideas of things to do. They laughed as Xu and Quistis announced they wanted to be first in line at Deling City's after-holiday sale. And they all laughed, a bit hesitantly, as Selphie said she didn't care about the lines as long as she had a big enough gun to gun it down and get there first.

Squall was silent and just listened. Seifer and Irvine were arguing about Esthar's politics and the girls talked about shopping. He felt awkwardly stuck between two worlds and, being the one thing he knew how to do best, he was effectively able to just back off and avoid them both. That's when he noticed Ma Dincht, who also was not in either conversation. She had a look in her eye that Squall had only seen in once before, at Rinoa's funeral. And now he could see what she could see too. This atmosphere, this place, these people all brought back memories of Zell. Each one reflected a piece of his personality that he or she had taken from him. She wondered if she'd ever get those pieces back.

On the morning of Christmas Eve, Seifer stepped out into the Quad. It was a delightfully peaceful morning, not cold, not windy, not too bright. Seifer missed the snow a little bit, but Balamb's mild climate wasn't an unwelcome change.

He stepped near the railing to look out over the ocean. So calm. Seifer had never felt this calm, this relaxed in his life. Things were looking up. He never felt so at home, so excited to be working here, with Squall.

He heard footsteps behind him and turned to see Irvine coming down the steps. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, smiling. Seifer motioned him over.

Irvine leaned his back against the railing, just as he had done when they were younger, and pulled out a cigarette. Seifer didn't watch him long. Irvine had definitely shown some age, even in just a few years. But it was a good age. He didn't look like a kid anymore, with shorter, thin hair and a wiry frame. He looked like a man you could trust.

Irvine finally broke the silence. "You know, I wanted to tell you I support you guys."

Seifer looked at him.

"You and Squall," said Irvine, "Xu and Quistis told me and Selphie last night."

Seifer still didn't respond. He didn't think it was right of Xu and Quistis to do that but somehow, he didn't think he'd have the courage to do it himself. It was still so new to him.

"I used to be quite a ladies man," said Irvine triumphantly, with a smirk around his cigarette. "But with Selphie, I actually calmed down a bit. Or got worn out. Probably that one."

Seifer laughed. He still wasn't sure how to respond. "Well, ironically, I didn't think I'd end up in this position anyway…"

"Doesn't matter," said Irvine with a dismissive wave, "What matters is your commitment. Stand by Squall. Support him."

Seifer sighed. "Are you saying I wouldn't do that? I'd help him anyway I can."

"No," said Irvine, "I'm saying I can tell relationships are new to you. Just because he's a man doesn't mean you have to be afraid of stepping into his territory. It's not his gender that matters, it's love that matters."

At that moment, Seifer didn't entirely believe Irvine. But he knew something: Irvine _understood _love. Irvine knew it when he saw it. Relationships, love, feelings. Seifer had never gotten to that point before. Now he was thrust deep into it.

"Excuse me," said Seifer, embarrassed, and he abruptly left.

Irvine read this as a bit of a defensive move. Seifer was obviously conflicted between his desire for Squall and his desire to _not _have a relationship with the man. Irvine tried to tell him that he was already in one whether he liked it or not but that was too offensive. No, thought Irvine, the only person who could tell Seifer the truth was Squall himself.

Seifer opened the doors to Squall's quarters to find him reading. "We need to talk," he said abruptly as soon as Squall looked up from his book.

Squall took off his reading glasses (Seifer made a mental note of how…striking he looked wearing them) and set them down on the desk. He closed the book and waited.

"What's the real reason you signed the transfer form?" asked Seifer. He tried to make his tone as neutral as possible.

"You're a great addition to the staff," said Squall, with equal neutrality.

"Bullshit," said Seifer, immediately. "Why is it the minute I try to talk to you, you close down, you revert, right back into old Squall?"

_Because I'm afraid of you. Because I'm afraid if I open up to you, you'll break my heart. You'll leave, like Rinoa._

"Why, Squall?"

_Because if I don't, you'll want to touch me again. I don't care if I liked it. I don't care if you did. Do I?_

"Answer me!"

Seifer felt the anger boiling under him, the masculine rage overcoming any sense of civility. His arm swung up, deftly, striking Squall across the head fiercely. Squall didn't even raise a hand to deflect it. He took it and fell like a doll to the ground.

Seifer left.

The group had decided to wait until after the holidays to give gifts. It had been too short of notice and no one had bought anything. Besides, all the good stores were in Galbadia and everyone wanted to take advantage of the sales anyway.

Quistis had bought the tickets, but was a bit late in doing so, causing the group to have to be split up among individual train cars. She thought everyone would be disappointed, but noticed Squall and Seifer take tickets of two very separated cars.

Xu, with her efficient eye for detail, noticed the tension too. Seifer rarely left his room, despite repeated attempts (and threats, thanks to Selphie) to get him out. Squall was seldom seen as well.

"Oh, I wish I knew what was going on between them," said a frustrated Xu to Quistis at breakfast on the day after Christmas, the day of travel. "Not a word out of either one."

"I'm so confused," said Quistis, staring at her food. "Wasn't Squall just a few days ago excited to see Seifer? It's like he can't make up his mind."

"Martine told me Seifer was more than willing to come to Balamb. I thought it was to see Squall," said Xu. "Evidently, something happened we don't know about."

Quistis didn't respond and tried to eat. It was hard because she was so worried. She knew bringing Seifer to begin with was a drastic measure but if any lasting damage had been down to Squall, she knew she'd never be able to forgive herself.

Deling City's streets were packed with busy shoppers. After renting a car, Irvine, who was driving, got stuck in traffic downtown which made very frustrated. Eventually, Irvine said that it would be fine if they left him with the car and walked to the shopping district.

Quistis, Xu, and Selphie eagerly stepped out into the lively city. Staying close to one another, they eagerly chatted away, bustling to the nearest store.

"Hey guys, I really don't think I like this store," said Selphie, a bit whiny, "I'm going to head off down Presidential Avenue, see what they have."

"Are you sure you'll be okay alone?" asked Quistis, but Selphie had already scampered away, singing to herself.

"Oh, Quisty, don't be a mother hen. It's Selphie, for Hyne's sake," said Xu and they stepped into the store. Quistis checked her pocketbook, noting just how much money she had. Xu looked at her and shook her head. Quistis could be so frugal sometimes.

"Put that away, Quistis. We can splurge; don't even look at the prices!" Xu grabbed Quistis by the elbow and pulled her near the formalwear department.

Xu held up a cream colored dress to her body and put herself in front of mirror. "Oh, Quistis, do you think this brings out my eyes?" Quistis wasn't really one to judge fashion but looked nonetheless. Honestly, she thought Xu's brown eyes were rather normal with the dress, but she didn't want to hurt Xu's feelings.

"I think it'd look nice on you, Xu." She really thought it looked too much like the one Rinoa had, the one cut short on the bottom that she had worn many times when they were younger. Quistis smiled quickly, and began to sift through the other dresses on the rack.

Xu put the dress back. "Oh, Quistis, try out that one?"

Quistis wrinkled her nose. "Dark green? Xu, I'd look like a tree."

"No, no, look at that pattern. With a little makeup and if you put your hair up, you'd look gorgeous." Xu took it off the rack and began pushing Quistis toward the changing rooms.

Quistis tried reaching for the price tag. "It's over 200,000 gil, Xu."

"Don't even think about that! Try it on!" Xu shoved Quistis through the curtain and Quistis changed.

She stepped out. Xu sort of lost her breath as Quistis stepped out. She really did look lovely. Quistis had her hair down today; she didn't feel like overworking it. It was actually a little curly toward the end. With Quistis' natural blush and her hair down, she looked a little younger and exposed an inner beauty Xu didn't think was possible.

"Quistis, that looks positively amazing!" said Xu.

"I can't afford it," said Quistis, defeated.

"Yes, you can. We don't work for Balamb Garden for nothing," Xu reached in her purse for her charge card. "Consider it my Christmas gift to you."

"It's a beautiful day in DELING CITY! WOOO!" cried Selphie, skipping down the street and turning on Presidential Avenue. Selphie didn't need to worry too much about drunks and muggers; most everyone avoided the loud, strangely singing girl.

Except one. Selphie was moving so fast, she didn't realize when she collided full on with a disoriented drunk.

"Hey, watch where you're—"

Selphie stopped as she looked up at his face. He was scruffy with a beard, but that still did nothing to hid the fact that he was blond, rather tall, and had signs of a older tattoo on his face.

"ZELL?!"

Irvine at last found a spot and the three men got out of the car, stretching their legs. "Well, I'm heading down the weaponry stores, guys," said Irvine, "if you wanted to come, that's cool."

Neither Squall or Seifer said anything. "Suit yourselves," said Irvine, trying to not make the situation any more awkward and left.

Squall started walking back down the sidewalk. Seifer turned to speak.

"Where are you—"

"None of your fcking business." And Squall left.

The stunned drunk man, at hearing this name, reacted sharply, like hearing a gunshot, and quickly sped off amongst the other shoppers.

He was out of sight quickly and Selphie was unable to follow him. She reached for her cell phone quickly and dialed Quistis.

"Quistis, it's Selphie," she said, a little shakily.

Quistis sensed this. "What's wrong, Selphie?"

"I…I just ran into Zell."

"Into who? Zell?" She obviously didn't believe her. "Selphie, are you sure?"

"I said his name and he ran off. I'm positive."

"Where'd he go?! Follow him!"

"I…I can't." said Selphie. She had been so surprised, she didn't know which way he went.

"Well, call the guys, see if one of them has seen him. What was he wearing? What did he look like?"

"Quistis, Deling City is huge. We'll never find him." With that, Selphie hung up the phone and leaned against the outside wall of a store. She didn't know what to do with herself. She felt so glad to see Zell, so angry that he ran away, and so frustrated that she couldn't follow him. Sighing, she dialed Irvine to tell him the news and for him to be on the lookout.

Squall stared out the train window at Galbadia. In the winter, eastern Galbadia was covered in a thin frost. It was barren out here in the edges of the desert.

He just needed to get away. Seifer had hit him. And instead of telling anyone, or trying to interpret its meaning, he just…left. It seemed most appropriate. So much for buying a gift for Seifer. He wasn't sure where his emotions lay; thinking about Seifer made him desirous and fearful. And both at once made him a little sick.

What he was doing, on the southbound train to Timber, was something he should have done a long time ago. He had plenty of time for introspection but this is the first time he would do it here. Before he got on the train, he bought a single flower from a florist in Deling. And now, a few hours later, he stepped off the train at the station and walked toward Timber National Cemetary.

[A/N I am _so very sorry _that I took so long to do this. I have no excuse. The story is slowly coming a close but I'm not exactly sure where it will go from here. I will have to see based on the reviews I get. :P


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